How to improve your self-esteem and be kinder to yourself

Self-esteem vs confidence

Low self-esteem stems from the beliefs you have about who you are as a person, and your opinion of yourself. It is more powerful and tends to pervade all areas of life.

Dr Sheri Jacobson, Clinical Director of Harley Therapy explains that low confidence, however, is about how you rate your skills and abilities. It can affect one or several areas of life. For example, you might have low confidence with public speaking, but be very confident with stating your mind in a small group.

Low self-esteem often begins in childhood - for example, as a result of التنمر. But التوتر and difficult life events can also have a negative effect on our self-esteem, such as an illness, a bereavement, or a challenging life change, such as redundancy.

Anne Millne-Riley, a therapist, confidence coach, and a Counselling Directory member, says you can't always spot someone who has low self-esteem, but common signs are sensitivity to criticism or avoidance of social interactions. Some people may avoid trying new things, or stay away from challenging situations.

Although having low self-esteem isn't a mental health condition in itself, the two are closely linked. Having low self-esteem in the long term may lead to an issue such as الاكتئاب أو القلق.

Naomi Barrow says low confidence and self-esteem leaves her struggling with everyday tasks.

Although it's certainly not easy to silence that critical inner voice completely, there are steps you can take to improve your self-esteem and feel more positive.

Challenge negative beliefs

It helps to identify negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them.

Focus on the positives

Taking time to reflect on your successes can help you have a more positive view of yourself. Writing a list of what you like about yourself may also be helpful.

Barrow says she writes down three positives at the end of every day.

Identify your triggers

Millne-Riley recommends asking yourself if there are times when you feel more confident or less confident.

Try talking therapies

Talking about your feelings with a trained professional can help you work through issues and build self-esteem.

Be kind to yourself

Although it can be difficult to find the motivation to take care of yourself, it's important for your mental wellbeing.

Geraldine Joaquim, a hypnotherapist, recommends taking time out to do things that make you happy.

Build positive relationships

It may sound obvious, but spending time with people who appreciate you and treat you well is key to raising self-esteem.

Challenge yourself

Setting yourself a goal can help you feel more positive about yourself. This could mean joining an exercise class, going to a social event, or even trying out a new recipe.