Coming, Ready or Not

When orgasm comes too soon, it can feel embarrassing, frustrating and impossible to talk about - but rapid or premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual issues men face. In this episode, Clare and Janet demystify the condition, explain what “rapid ejaculation” really means, and challenge the myths that leave so many men feeling broken or alone.

They unpack the medical definition (including the surprising reality of what’s considered “normal”), explore how porn and performance pressure distort expectations, and reveal the many reasons this happens - from anxiety and overstimulation to adolescent masturbation habits, early sexual experiences, trauma, sensitivity, relationship stress or simply being overwhelmed in the moment.

The conversation tackles shame head-on, including the cultural narrative that men should “always be ready” and always be in control. Clare and Janet highlight how a single negative experience - or one unkind comment from a partner or peer - can echo for years, shaping confidence and sexual identity.

Most importantly, they offer practical guidance on what can help:
• GP treatments such as SSRIs and numbing creams
• Understanding the “point of no return”
• Managing overstimulation and reducing reliance on porn
• Slower, sensual self-touch and retraining techniques
• The “wax and wane” and “stop–start” methods
• Relationship communication and reducing performance pressure

They also share at-home strategies for listeners who aren’t ready to see a therapist, including sensory retraining, mindful self-touch and ways to recreate the sensations of partnered sex to slowly build control and confidence.

Compassionate, candid and deeply normalising, this episode reminds listeners that premature ejaculation isn’t a personal failing - it’s a solvable, human experience that many men work through successfully with the right support.